Another post about the dog

Here's the bottom line, folks: there's nothing to blog about except my dog. So here goes...

This is a tennis ball.

This is Dixie.

See Dixie destroy the tennis ball.

See Dixie sleep because she's tired and her stomach hurts from eating a tennis ball.

Here is Dixie in the back yard. Shhh! She's hunting wabbits (and also probably looking for a place to poop).

Aww. We love Dixie.

And Dixie loves tennis balls. To death.

W, X, Why, and Z

This is Clayton. Sometimes he gets tired at school and has to take a nap in the dental chair, but those pesky overhead fluorescent lights are always getting in his eyes. Solution? Dental bib + safety glasses. Problem solving--that's why they pay us the big bucks.

I have a funny story to tell about Clayton...I hope he doesn't mind!

Clayton's denture patient speaks Spanish and English, but understands Spanish better. Clayton has been studying his Spanish so that he can talk to his patient in a more comfortable way, which is very considerate. The patient is also hard of hearing, so Clayton has to speak very loudly.

One day a few weeks ago, we heard Clayton loudly telling his patient, "Igreiega! A la igriega!" Later he said to us, "My patient had such a hard time getting back out to the waiting room--I kept telling him "igriega" but he wouldn't turn left."

I said, "Clayton, 'igriega' doesn't mean left; izquierda means left."

We decided that since Clayton had said "igriega" about 40 times to his patient, we should find out what it means. We brought in our bilingual faculty member, Dr. Vargas. Then we really got lost in translation.

Me: Dr. Vargas, que significa 'igriega'? (What does igriega mean?)
Dr. Vargas: Why?
Me: Because Clayton kept telling his patient to go left, but instead of saying 'izquierda' he was saying 'igriega,' so what does that mean?
Dr. Vargas: Why?
Me: (Thought I just told her why...) We just want to know what Clayton was saying to his patient instead of left. What does it mean?
Dr. Vargas: It means 'Y'--the letter Y.
Me: Oh...now I'm with you.

Dog Whisperer

You know those annoying people who have bumper stickers like this: Well, I'm about to become one of them. I need one of those bumper stickers that says, "My rescue mutt is smarter than your honor student." Or maybe I'm just really good at dog training. I might be the next dog whisperer. The proof is in the pudding. Look how well I taught my Dixie dog to play dead after I shoot her (apologies for the awful camera phone quality of the video)...

**No animals were harmed in the making of this film.
You think it's a sign of poor training that it took four "bangs" to get Dixie to play dead? Consider this: I told Dixie that I've had no training in marksmanship, and my gun shoots tranquilizing darts instead of bullets. How smart is she to realize that I missed the first two times and factor in the time it takes for sedatives to take effect.

I am the dog whisperer. I train dogs faster than a speeding bullet...or tranquilizer dart.

Knick Knack, Paddy Whack...

When we take our Dixie dog over to my friend Clayton's house to play with his dog, Radar, Dixie always tries to take Radar's bones. We finally decided that we should just buy Dixie some bones of her own to have at the house. Clayton told us that he gets real bones for Radar at a feed store nearby. We happened to be at Walmart this weekend, though, and we found that they sell real pig femurs on the pet supply aisles. (As if we needed anymore proof that Walmart literally sells everything...)

We bought Dixie the 1 pound bone and brought it home. She immediately pranced over to her little blanket and started to gnaw on it. We were decorating the house for Christmas, so we didn't realize until a few hours later that she had already eaten about half of the bone.

Two hours after that, she threw up. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Here's a new nursery rhyme: Knick knack, paddy whack, give the dog a bone. Watch her barf all over your home.

Luckily she's learned her lesson. The remaining bone has been chewed with fervor in 5 minute increments.

Guest What?

I love having company...but does company love having me?

Hopefully now they will. Check out the new amenities at Hotel de Edwards:
Just an ordinary dresser...

...or is it?
What's this? A special guest drawer?


No, two of them!
What's inside?

Snacks and toiletries?!?! Aww...staying at the Edwards' is so much fun!

(Who wants to come visit us now?)

A Great Loss

Last Monday, my 87-year-old Great Uncle John didn't wake up in the morning. When his wife awoke and found him unresponsive, she immediately called 911, but Uncle John had already quietly passed on from this life.

I've spent some time every day in the 10 days since his passing trying to decide what to write on the blog about this man's life and death (not so much for the readers, but for myself and in honor of Uncle John), but I simply can't find all the words. I think the speakers at the funeral had a difficult time finding the right words to honor this man, too. The eulogy provided a litany of good acts and successes that Dr. John had accomplished in his lifetime, but somehow all those lists fell short of describing the incredible impact this man had on the world.

His obituary can be found here, and if you ever need some inspiration to go out into the world and make a difference, read about my Uncle John's life.

Here's my list for Uncle John:

He was a husband of 63 years (he really meant it when he said "'til death do us part")

He built a hospital in Zambia, Africa; brick, by brick, by brick.

He always had time for you.

He adored his family.

He loved the Lord (and proved it).

He had the patience of Job, the heart of David, and the courage of Joseph.

He was a dentist that truly cared about every patient in his practice, and his patients loved him for it.

He was a great encourager.

He wasn't afraid to tell you that he loved you, or afraid to correct you or provide you with gentle instruction.

Throughout his funeral service and at the graveside, the line from Hamlet kept circling through my mind: "Goodnight, sweet prince; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

Uncle John was a prince, deserving of all the reward he will find in Heaven.

Must Love Dogs

I've been being a good little doggie mom lately and trying to socialize Dixie with other dogs. (The vet told me that she's behind on her socializing because she was in the shelter during her formative months...I'm pretty sure that's a little dramatic, but I'm trying anyway.)

I invited a friend and her little papillon/poodle mix over to the house the other night, and Dixie scared her to death. Instead of playing, Paisley spent the entire night on the couch (because she figured out that Dixie isn't allowed on the couch) trying to avoid Dixie's big paws. In Paisley's defense, Dixie is about 5 times her size. In Dixie's defense, she was really bummed that she didn't get to play.

My next thought was my friend Clayton who has a Weimaraner/Lab mix named Radar. I figured that Dixie might act nicer around small dogs if she knew what it felt like to be the little one. I would guess that Radar weighs around 100 lbs., so Dixie was definitely dwarfed by him. Their introduction was a little rocky, but after the first 20 minutes they were friends and spent the rest of the night chasing each other playfully around the yard.

Socializing? Check.

Clayton and I have been talking at school about getting the dogs together again for a play date, but he told me that Radar's been really busy studying for dental school...

After Clayton sent me those pictures, I told him that I really like pictures of dogs acting like humans. Like this one I found on the internet:
He told me he had a picture of our friend Richie's dog, Mocha, acting like a human who doesn't care for green beans.
Mocha REALLY doesn't like green beans. Poor Mister Ticklebritches. Doesn't like green beans...

Those dogs are doggone funny. Know what else is funny? Mexican Santa wearing a sombrero.
Courtesy of our local Goodwill. Can you believe someone wanted to get rid of that treasure!?!?

Googled

Today during lecture I decided to update my grade sheet. Every semester I make an excel spreadsheet of each of my classes, their respective hour values, and insert the formulas so that I can just plug in my grades as they are given and the spreadsheet will calculate my GPA. Also every semester, I forget how to do the formulas on excel. Usually I can figure it out, but this time I just couldn't remember how to do it (am I getting dumber?), so I had to resort to the best reference ever created--Google.com.

I love the little "fill in the blank" function of google. When you start to type in your query, the program gives you choices below of the most commonly searched terms with those words.

For example, if you type in "Who is the best...", Google will offer: Who is the best soccer player in the world, who is the best rapper alive, who is the best dermatologist in san antonio, and who is best character in borderlands."

It's always interesting to see the search terms that come up because they are based off of things that people are actually searching at the time.

This morning when I started to type "How do you make formulas on MS excel," Google listed:

How do you make a heart on facebook
How do you make a penguin on myspace
How do you make a series on youtube
How do you make sure you're not pregnant
How do you make a resume
How do you delete your facebook

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud, because I couldn't help but imagine that the same person typed all these questions. Well, just in case it was the same person googling away their troubles, here's a little advice...

If you're really serious about looking for a job, why not delete the facebook, delete the myspace, nix the youtube idea, don't have unprotected sex, and contact the nearest college's career counseling center to help you with your resume. You google too much (oodles of googles)! And what in the world is a myspace penguin?

I wonder what would happen if you googled "google"...

Probably the world would implode.

In other news, I'm still trying to teach Dixie how to be still to pose for pictures. Once she's got that down, I'll post some more. Expect them around December of 2012. We took her to her first vet appointment last week and found out that she had gained 5 pounds since coming home from the shelter. The vet was concerned that she still looked too skinny, so he recommended that we increase her food. Now she's probably gained about 7 pounds and I've lost 3 from taking her on so many walks. Puppies have a lot of energy to burn off!

The fun part is that she's already learning tricks. She can sit, stay (sort of), shake, lay down, roll over (halfway), high five, crawl, and fetch when she feels like it. Not bad for a four month old, right?

Speaking of 4 month olds, I'm doing a rotation in pediatric dentistry this week and next week...there will be stories--get ready!

Halloween Hubub

Jeffrey and I met some good friends for dinner tonight, and on the way home we started discussing some costume ideas for a Halloween party coming up next week. This is how the conversation went:

Lauren: We could be Snooki and The Situation.
Jeffrey: I really don't want to spend the whole night wearing just a wife-beater.
Lauren: We could be trauma patients in the ER
Jeffrey: OR MEXICAN GANGSTERS!
Lauren: I don't think we should do something where we have to be a different ethnicity...it's too hard to change skin colors.
Jeffrey: We could be Michael Jackson and propofol, the pills he overdosed on
Lauren: Again, I don't want to try and change ethnicity.
Jeffrey: Michael Jackson was white at the end!

(long, thoughtful pause)

Jeffrey: WE COULD BE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! (He begins humming the theme song)
Lauren: Yes, we could. But we'd have to make shells.
Jeffrey: You could do that. I CALL LEONARDO!
Lauren: I'm putting this conversation on the blog. You should be embarrassed.
Jeffrey: Whatever, you're stuck with the loser turtles.

Dixieland Delight

I have two important things to tell you, my faithful blog readers, and both are equally true:

The first is that we have officially adopted a dog. The second is that it is exceptionally hard to take a good picture of a puppy. Valid proof of both statements shown below.







Introducing Dixie Belle Edwards, our sweet little rescue pup. She is 3.5 months old and the vet thinks she is a weimaraner/hound mix. She weighs about 20 lbs now, but she probably won't be little for long. She's a very good girl who loves being outside and wants someone to be petting her at all times. We got her from the Bexar County Humane Society, which is a fantastic shelter that we would highly recommend!

Reverse Psychology

These days I've been realizing that my Type A personality is actually starting to work against me. Usually it's good to be aware of deadlines, but sometimes (e.g. the 3rd year of dental school) being aware of your deadlines can make you hyperventilate.

The hyperventilation method was effective for a little while as a coping mechanism (you can't be stressed if you're unconscious from irregular breathing), but in order to protect my brain cells from hypoxia, I'm searching for new ways to deal with the pressure.

There have been many prayers and more scripture reading than normal, and those things help to keep life in perspective (this morning I read some chapters from Philippians and was reminded that there are things equally or slightly more stressful than dental school--like being chained to the wall in a Roman prison because of your religious beliefs).

Even so, I've still been pretty stressed, so the next form of stress relief comes in the form of backward or upward thinking. Upward thinking is just about escape. I call it upward because the escape place I always think of is climbing a mountain.

*Little known fact about me: I've climbed 5 mountains in Colorado on Wilderness Trek.
There's just something about the idea of leaving all these deadlines and stresses and escaping to the mountains that sounds so appealing. The way I would smell after a week without showering while climbing a mountain would be so appalling, of course, but the trip would be lovely. The longing for that quiet hiking experience has been so strong lately that I'm considering planning a trip in the summer. If you've never climbed a mountain before--you should come with me!

The backward thinking is fun, too. Jeffrey actually started this stress-reliever. He'll often ask, "Think of us X years ago...what were we doing? What were we thinking about? What were we worried about?"

The answers are often hilarious.

What were we doing 6 years ago? Making jack-o-lanterns at Jeffrey's parents' house, of course. What were we worried about? Getting into dental/medical school. We brought all our books and computers and notes on this "vacation" to Jeffrey's house so that we could study the entire time. The pumpkin carving was only a little break we took.
Clearly this isn't the best picture of me. (Was I on some kind of make-up strike?) Even so, I look so young, and so skinny! Nothing makes you feel skinnier than a picture of your face next to a big round pumpkin.

What were we doing 5 years ago? Marching in the Homecoming parade. What were we worried about? Worried about getting into club and finishing our pledge duties.
The smiles you see are just a cover--this picture was taken at the ACU Homecoming parade and neither one of us was very happy to be there. Jeffrey had stayed up all night working on their float, and I was wearing 4 pair of panty hose under that hideous yellow skirt as a punishment for someone being late to our pledge meeting. (This is probably where my propensity for hyperventilation began--4 pair of panty hose puts quite a strain on your diaphragm.)

Looking back makes me realize that "this too shall pass." And so will I. I will pass 3rd year. I will pass 3rd year. I will pass 3rd year.

What I've been working (and working and working) on lately

Things I learned last night:

Cooking Spanish rice at dinner time smells delicious. Cooking Spanish rice at bedtime smells weird.

Don't ever start dental school projects at 10 pm.

A watched project never drys...and neither does an un-watched project.

I like sleep.

I stayed up way too late, and I had some bumps in the road along the way, but with a few "band aid fixes" to my project this morning, I got it all done just in time. Wanna see what I was working on?

This is a cast of one of my patient's teeth.

The green wax is an example of what her tooth will look like after we do the implant. (Except it won't be green...unless that's what she really, really wants.)

This is the thing that wouldn't dry.
It helps the surgeon to place the implant in the right place.

Since my guide never dried, it helps the surgeon to place the implant in the wrong place. (Just kidding--I'll remake it before the surgery.)

I'm not sure what grade I got on my presentation, but my classmates gave me lots of encouragement about my work, and that's worth a lot more than a good grade!

The Wee Hours

It's 12:20 am on a school night and I am sitting on my red antique couch wondering, "Should I turn on the TV, read my book, or make the rice for the luncheon tomorrow?"

This begs the question: But, Lauren, why not just go to bed?

I'd love to go to bed right now, but I have a presentation tomorrow that requires a lab material that is quite easy to make and therefore was left to the last minute (10:00 pm the night before). As is always the case with dental school lab projects that are left to the last minute, catastrophes both minor and major are sure to occur.

And occur they did.

My lab project requires me to mix a special powder and special liquid together which then hardens into a guide that may be used for an implant surgery. It usually takes a few minutes to harden.

Problem #1: When I got home tonight, I realized that the bottle the liquid has been kept in for the last few days was leaking, so I only had enough for one try--no room for error.

Problem #2: For some reason that surpasses all understanding, my mixture is still not dry. It's been 2.5 hours, and it still feels like play-dough instead of rock solid plastic. I've worked on several other projects over the last couple of hours until I found myself literally watching the material dry at midnight.

That's just pathetic. (And anyway, a watched project never boils.)

So I can't get it to set, can't start over, and can't get any more materials until tomorrow morning at 8 am...exactly 1 hour before my presentation is due.

*Sigh. Whose idea was it for me to become a dentist? Was it the same person who thought it was a good idea to save this project until the night before it was due?

I think I'm going to go make the rice for the party tomorrow. Nothing says slumber party for one like a batch of Mexican rice, right?