Monday, March 30, 2009

And Now My Lifesong Sings

Good evening-

I've been listening to this song on repeat today while studying. It's a great song with a great reminder, so enjoy - I've posted the lyrics here and the song is the first one on the Blog Playlist on the right side of your screen.



I once was lost, but now I'm found
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I'm home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
And now my lifesong sings

I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don't know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings

And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings

I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You




Until next time...

Good night, and good luck

--Jeffrey

Friday, March 27, 2009

Law and Order

Attention all lawyers, law-makers, and politicians: There is a grievous situation at hand. Jeffrey and I made a quick run to HEB yesterday to pick up some food for dinner. As we walked into the store, we turned down the first aisle only to be greeted by a young "lady" wearing a belly-bearing top. While I don't particularly approve of showing ones stomach in the grocery store, I am normally not quite as appalled as I was on Thursday. Why was I so offended? Oh, mostly because our little grocery store belly-rina was nine months pregnant. So lawyers, I ask you--Why is there no law against this????????Let's be clear: I'm all for pregnancy. I love babies, I think pregnant bellies BENEATH clothes are adorable, and I think it is amazing that the female body can go to such great lengths to create a home for a child for 9 months. Let's be clear on this, too, though: I almost threw up at the store because of that girl. Imagine walking down the aisle looking for ground beef and instead seeing stretch marks and a waddling woman with a curiously absent bellybutton. Disconcerting at best.

On another note, today marks the beginning of my "Spring" break. For some reason, the dental school (in all its infinite wisdom) decided to make our Spring Break a different week that everyone else's (in the world). Regardless of my grouching about the timing, I am extremely grateful for the break from school!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Arachnophobia

I had two near-death experiences yesterday. Both involving spiders. Don't worry, though--I'm ok (mostly).

A little background: I hate spiders. They are the scariest creatures on the earth. I don't really know why I hate them so much. Perhaps I had a traumatic childhood experience with them. Or maybe they just freak me out because they have too many dang legs! And fangs. And eyes.

Anyway, yesterday morning I got into the shower and saw a fuzzy black circle on the shower floor. After wiping the grogginess from my eyes, I realized that the "fuzzy black circle" on the floor was actually a HUGE spider! It looked like this:
There I was, virtually defenseless in the shower, staring into the vicious (eight) eyes of a killer spider. I yelled for Jeffrey to come and rescue me, but he didn't answer. I somehow managed to wash the spider down the drain. I sang a dirge for it as it was washed out of my life ("The itsy bitsy/really huge spider went up Lauren's shower, down came her wrath and washed the spider out, down came the soap and killed the spider for good, and the really huge spider never bothered her again").

Later that night, Jeffrey and I were sitting on the couch watching TV together after dinner. All of a sudden, I felt something on my forearm. When I looked down, I saw that a spider had fallen (apparently from the sky) onto my arm. It looked like this: I felt all eight of its spider-legs crawl on me before I brushed it off my arm in a flurried panic and firmly asked Jeffrey to squash it. (My hero!) You know what the worst part of it is? It's been 18 hours since "the incident," and I can still feel its legs on my forearm.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Auditings and Baby Things

I have no patience. If you have read our blog before today, you already know this (example: I set up our Christmas tree before Thanksgiving because we bought it early).

The previous paragraph explains why, when I got the mail a few days ago, I simply could not wait until I got in the apartment to open it. Especially since the return address was ominously stamped "Internal Revenue Service." Even though Jeffrey's dad used to be an accountant, Jeffrey and I decided to do our taxes on our own this year. How hard could it be?

Box 1: How much money did you make this year?
Answer: Not very much.
Boxes 2 through 1000: How much of your earned income did you invest/spend on ---?
Answer: None at all.
Box 3: Would you like your $12 that was withheld to be paid back to you by check or direct deposit?
Answer: Check.

Done with our taxes.

Honestly, it was a little more complicated than that, but not by much. We filled our form out together, gathered all of our W-2 forms, copied everything and sent it into the IRS. I thought that we would qualify for an education tax credit (which we do), but unfortunately you can only receive a tax credit if you end up needing to pay taxes for the year, which we did not. (Yay for being in the lowest tax bracket!)

Anyway, when I saw the letter in the mail I was worried that we had messed up on our taxes and were now going to have all our money taken away. (Which, in a sense, would be good, because then the government would have to pay the interest on our loans.) I opened the letter, and it said something like "Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, it appears that you have made a mistake on your 1040 form." Dang it. After pouting out my lip and beginning to cry at the thought of having to pay the government more money from our meager earnings from 2008, I finished reading the letter. It continued: "We have corrected the mistake for you, and found that the government OWES you $600 more dollars. If you believe this to be correct, you do not have to do anything, simply wait for your check in the mail."

Cha-Ching!

(As an aside: For those of you who are reading this and thinking "Ugh--I hate Jeffrey and Lauren for getting all that money back!" Just remember: Doctor + Dentist = Money - Taxes for a Doctor and a Dentist = Lots less money. The IRS will have their revenge someday soon.)

I'm about to tell you about a baby gift, so if your name is Courtney Mayfield, don't read anymore of this post!

(Seriously, Courtney...don't scroll down.)

Courtney is one of my friends from college, and she found out last week that she is going to have a little baby girl! I got so excited when I read it on her blog that I immediately made her some little baby burp rags. I just used some scrap material from a quilt that I made and some lace that I picked up at the store, but they turned out so cute! Hopefully they will be the cutest thing their baby ever spits up on!




I know that I used blue for a baby girl, but it's a really cute blue and I made ruffles! That counts, right?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

If you've been inside a junior high classroom in the last 20 years, chances are you've been "inspired" by one of these posters.





The general concept is: take a beautiful scenic picture, throw in a climber/adventurer/outdoorsman, and add a meaningful quote or phrase such as "Dedication," "Perseverance," "Ambition," etc. Basically, these posters exist to take up space and add color to the classroom; rarely do they ever convince their readers to act upon the phrase contained in the poster.

While they may not inspire their viewers to set and reach their goals, they most definitely inspire people to mercilessly mock these posters online. Here are some of the funniest (and cleanest) examples - enjoy!

(If you cannot read the smaller font, simply click on the picture and a larger version of the picture will be brought up.)















It's Madness!

Hello, readers!

In case you hadn't noticed, we have recently added a music player to our blog. For those new to using a computer (like my grandparents - Nana, Papa, and Grandmother), here are some simple directions. When you come to our blog page, if you'll turn on your speakers you will be able to hear the music selections that we have made for your listening pleasure. You can also scroll through the songs we have chosen by clicking the arrows on either side of the "play" button.

While some people like to read in silence, it is our intention to make your blog reading experience as enjoyable as possible, and this addition seemed like a fun method to aid in our accomplishing of that goal. That being said, we would like your input. If there is a certain song that you really like, would like to hear, would like for us to hear, or simply one that you think is appropriate for our blog, please leave a message in the "Comments" section. Don't get your hopes up, though - the suggestion has to pass both of our approval criteria (so Tom, don't expect any rap music).

Switching topics, March Madness (the NCAA tournament) began yesterday. We had a four-hour series of lectures yesterday afternoon. Out of the 230 students in my class, only about 100 were in class yesterday. Of that 100, probably 75 had their computers out on their desks watching the live streams of the games on cbs.com. (Yes, I was one of the 75 students doing it. No, I don't feel bad about it. Yes, I do think it's a perfectly acceptable use of my tuition loan money.) Whenever a player would make a big shot or a player would have a massive dunk, you would hear 5-10 muffled, "OOOOOHHHHHHHH's" flying up across the room. I'm sure the professor was irritated, but when given the choice between watching the NCAA tournament or learning about the magnetic fields and internal workings of an MRI machine, what do you think a bunch of 23-year-olds are going to choose? Needless to say, I cannot tell you how an MRI machine works, other than the fact that it uses magnets and oscillating protons and electrons to construct an image (I think...). But I can tell you that I was 12-16 on my picks yesterday - not too shabby for only spending 5 minutes putting together my bracket in Neuroscience class, huh?

Before ending, I would like to ask that all of you keep our friend Ryan and his family in your prayers. Ryan and his family are good people going through a tough time right now, so any extra prayers and thoughts on their behalf would be much appreciated.

I will be on my couch watching basketball all weekend. If you need me, your best bet is to Gmail Chat or Skype me, because my phone is in the other room, and I don't plan on getting up from the couch for the next 2 days.

Lauren, honey, I need a drink...and a snack...

Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!

Until next time...

Good night, and good luck

--Jeffrey

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fighting Like Cats and Dogs

Every morning I have a little ritual that I go through....

Alarm goes off. I hit snooze.

Alarm goes off. I hit snooze.

Alarm goes off. I intend to hit snooze, but accidentally hit "off."

Alarm does not go off. Jeffrey pulls me out of the bed by my feet twenty minutes prior to our departure time.

I groan.

Reluctantly, I get ready. I shower, put on clothes, dry my hair, and then put on my make up (the latter being done in the car if it's a day that I am running very late).

Jeffrey and I go to school. We walk about 5 miles from our parking place to the building.

I go into my lecture hall and start up my computer. I then check my emails and the growing number of blogs that I follow. Finally, just before class starts, I check AOL news to see if anything interesting has happened in the world while I slept. This morning, something had indeed happened.

The article that caught my attention mentioned something about the reality TV series "Project Runway" and one of its former contestants being arrested for assault. I clicked to read the rest of the story, mostly because I was surprised about what could have happened. Project Runway is a show about competing fashion designers--not exactly the most violent characters in reality TV. Mostly they just prance around with threaded needles in their teeth calling out magical words like "bouffant" and "bougeious" and "rouching."

Flying in the face of my former assumptions, one of the recent contestants had, in fact, turned violent. During a fight with her boyfriend, this young lady got so angry that she began to throw things at him. An apple, water, and a laptop were all thrown at the unfortunate man. But when he still wouldn't leave, she unleashed her final weapon...she threw her cat at him.

Charges were filed and the police arrested the woman on charges of assault and battery/cat-tery. Puts a whole new meaning to "Cat Scratch Fever," doesn't it?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Knitty Gritty

I finally finished my little knitted pillow! As promised, here are the pictures.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Can I have your number?

Today I had a rotation in the Oral Surgery department. Several of my classmates and I drove to the downtown clinic to observe and perhaps participate in a little dental surgery. We had been told to go to the 3rd floor of the clinic in an email, but when we got to the 3rd floor a man told us that the oral surgery clinic was on the 2nd floor. We rode the elevator back down to the 2nd floor where a cheerful nurse told us that the oral surgery clinic was on the 3rd floor. We rode the elevator back up to the third, and after negotiating with Lewis and Clark, Sacajawea, and a compass, we found the clinic.

Keep in mind, that even with the directional challenges we had faced thus far in our journey, I still had a positive outlook on this rotation...

Until I saw the men in orange. Bright orange jumpsuits. With chains on their hands and feet. That's right--we were treating prisoners at the clinic today. I'll be honest--I was a little intimidated. Granted, they were guarded by an armed police officer, shackled, and promptly hopped up on nitrous oxide, but still--how do I know they aren't in jail for trying to kill their last dentist, you know?

Anyway, I consider myself a pretty intelligent person, so I took offense to the fact that our supervising surgeon said, "Ladies, we do have a few men in orange today, prisoners, who are receiving treatment. I'd like to remind you not to give them your phone number or any personal information, even if they ask for it."

Umm...duh.

In my effort to stay far away from the potential dentist-killers, I wandered into a room where the supervising resident asked me to remove the stitches and staples from a man's head (seriously). The man had been shot in the face a month ago, and had had reconstructive surgery that involved (essentially) folding his entire face away from the bone and then reattaching it. Wow.

The resident showed me how to remove the stitches and staples and then asked me to do it. I was nervous for several reasons 1) Prior to today, I had only removed staples from paper and bulletin boards 2) I didn't want to hurt the guy 3) There were several other students watching me. In my effort to be gentle, I was not being efficient. The resident advised me again on how to properly remove the staples, and when I apologized for being nervous, my patient/gunshot victim/gangster with his name tattooed on his arm said very sweetly, "Don't be nervous--just take a deep breath and focus." If all gang members are that encouraging, I'm considering joining one.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fireside Chat

Jeffrey left to visit his family in Fort Worth this morning. Sadness quickly ensued in the lonely apartment...

Luckily, when I got home from school, I saw that he had left me a sweet note. I'll tell you what it said, but first--a little background story (otherwise, the note won't make sense).

Jeffrey always makes the bed in the morning. I don't really know why I don't do it--I used to always make my bed in college, but when I got married, I stopped caring about it. Jeffrey occasionally asks me to help him make the bed in the morning, and I usually politely decline, claiming that I "called it" not to make the bed ever. He then usually tries to "call" some other chore, but I do not accept. It's a little joke between us now, because anytime one of us wants the other to do something (especially a household chore), the other claims to have "called not it" long ago.

Anyway, here's the sweet note my hubby left me this morning:

"Lauren--I made up the bed this morning, but that'll be up to you tomorrow! Call me whenever you miss me, because I'll be missing you, too. I hope school went well today. If you need to, you can call me as you're going to sleep tonight so we can have those "bedtime conversations" we always have. I love you--see you in 2 days! Love, Husband."

Cue the heart clutching and "awww..." saying.

Regardless of the heartwarming note, I came home to a cold house after having been soaked by the chilly rain. What else could I do but build a fire? Usually Jeffrey handles the fires in our house, but since he was absent, I turned on Oprah (for moral support) and built one myself.

Now, here I sit, warming my toes next to my self-made fire, watching "The Devil Wears Prada."

I am woman. Hear me roar.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Family Matters

About a week ago, Jeffrey got a special delivery from Grandmother. He absolutely LOVES Lands' End Clothes, so she sent him a handsome blue dress shirt, an adorable navy tie with seahorses on it, and some cuff links. He was so excited, and I say that it looks amazing with a white doctor's coat. (Then again, I look great with a white coat, too...white coats are the new black at our house.)



My family came to visit this week because everyone had Spring Break (including Jeffrey) except for me. The dental school's Spring Break isn't until the end of March and beginning of April. For some reason the dental school's break and the medical school's break were different this year. I had begun to suspect that the school's administrators had not been considering our personal schedules when making the academic calendar, but now I'm sure they are ignoring our individual preferences. How rude.

Anyway, we had a great time visiting with my family, and in true Robert and Jenny style, they brought us food, bought us clothes, paid for our meals, and took us grocery shopping. They're so sweet!

One of the funnier things that happened during the week was our dinner at Macaroni Grill. Mom mentioned that she had seen a sweet little three week old baby last week. My brother, Greg, was with her when she saw the baby, and told us how small and fragile the newborn looked to him by saying, "It was so tiny, I could have crushed its skull."

???????????????????

Do not allow my brother to hold your newborn--this has been a public service announcement.

A little bit after the extremely strange newborn comment that my brother made, all the lights went off in the restaurant. They came back on shortly thereafter, but it made me think of how many strange things have happened to me since I started this blog. It's almost as if the universe wants us to have material for this little computer journal. Honestly, how many of you can say that you've 1)seen someone clipping his fingernails during a church service 2)had all the lights go out in a restaurant where you were eating 3)have seen your professors pants fall down during class?!

As a side story, I have yet another dental school woe to share with you. It requires a bit of boring explanation--hang in there...

In dental school, we use a tool called an articulator. This is kind of what one looks like. Articulators mimic the movements of a patient's mouth so that the dentist can work on a crown or some other device without the patient actually being present. In order for this to work, the articulator has to have many adjustable parts so that it can work for lots of different patients. This year, our school bought us new articulators.

Twenty minutes later, most of them broke. Just kidding. Seriously, though, about 20% of them had some part broken very quickly and 40% of them had some malfunctioning part that wasn't necessarily broken, but was incorrect in some minor way. Because of these problems, the articulator company sent some representatives to fix them. When the representatives came, they tried to fix the aforementioned 60% and double check the properly functioning 40%. Instead, they broke all but 2 of them. Lovely.

Anyway, mine had a part that should unscrew to move a table to different heights and then screw back in to hold the table there. Instead, when I unscrewed it, several pieces would fall off of the device and the table would collapse. I took it to the representatives, and this is what happened:

Me: Hi, my incisal guide table keeps falling apart when I try to adjust it. This pin here keeps falling out.
Representative: Ok, we didn't know about that before we got here.
Me: Ok. Do you think you can fix it? I really need it for a project we're doing today.
Rep: No. We didn't know about that problem before we got here.
Me: Oh...sorry. We were told you guys were coming to fix any problems we had.
Rep: Yeah, that's why we're here.
Me: Ok, but you can't fix this problem?
Rep: No.
Me: Is there a quick-fix that we could do today so that it will hold for a week? I really have to have it working for that project.
Rep: We can try.

Lots of time passes.

Me: Is it fixed?
Rep: No.

More time passes.

Me: Is it ready?
Rep: You can take it. We're pretty sure it won't fall apart as long as you hold it on this pressure point while you move it. It was falling apart because you were adjusting it too much.
Me: It was my fault for adjusting the adjustable part...?
Rep: Yes.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Happy Birthda-versary!

For those of you who don't know, Jeffrey and I celebrate both of our birthdays and our anniversary in the same week. My birthday was last Friday (March 6th), his is Friday (March 13th), and our anniversary is today (March 8th). It makes for a pretty crazy birthda-versary, especially since we just had Valentine's day a few weeks ago, but it's still fun. We did have a party for my birthday, but I'm going to save that post for tomorrow when I've downloaded some pictures. We decided to do a little anniversary question thing, like those quizzes in girly magazines where you each do the questions separately and then compare the answers.

What is your favorite thing about being married?

Jeffrey: My favorite thing about being married (other than the fact that I have someone willing to cook for me) is knowing that I have someone who I know will support me every day. Whether I just rocked/escaped a test, or am nervous about having to do a physical exam on some grandma, or sad because I’ve gained (a little) weight, or frustrated because stupid San Antonio only shows Spurs and Houston teams instead of the Mavs and Rangers, I always know that Lauren will be there to listen, support, and encourage - or tell me to stop whining and take out the trash.

Lauren: Every night before we go to sleep, we talk in bed for a while. I love those conversations. They are rarely about important things, but they are always sweet and always sincere, and they always end in a kiss goodnight. It reminds me of sleepovers I used to have in grade school where everyone would stay up late into the night talking.


What has been your biggest fight?

Jeffrey: Moving. Everything involved with moving. It was a giant hassle in and of itself, but throw in 2 stubborn, “Type A” newlyweds and you get the stuff of which reality TV show producers dream.

Lauren: Whether or not he could keep his deer skull and hang it somewhere in our apartment. (He did not.)


What is your spouse's most annoying habit?


Jeffrey: It’s funny how love can make you blind to so many things that would annoy most other people. Lauren doesn’t have many habits that annoy me, but one thing that does is her eating. In all fairness, that’s a pet peeve of mine anyway, but it still applies to her. I don’t like the smacking, or chewing with the mouth open, or loud crunching, etc. I’m sure I do it too, but I can’t hear myself and thus it doesn’t bother me. So to solve our problem, we just eat at the same time so the crunching of my own food in my head covers up the sound of her eating.

Lauren: He makes a really gross snorting/growling/snotty/lougie (I don't know how to spell that) sound when his nose is runny. This year he has been sick three or four times, so I have heard the booger clearing quite a bit more than I care to!


What is the nicest thing your spouse has done for you this year?

Jeffrey: She let me marry her. Enough said.

Lauren: The question should really say "nicest things" because my answer is backrubs. Lots of backrubs. He's very good at getting out the knots that dental school puts into my neck and shoulders, and very sweet to give them to me so often.


What is your funniest memory together from this year?

Jeffrey: In our first week of marriage, we managed to lock ourselves out of our apartment and break a window. It wasn’t so funny then, but it’s definitely funny now.

Lauren: My favorite was when Jeffrey poured the milk into five different containers because the gallon bottle had a crack in it and he couldn't think of a good container to put it all into. I am giggling now even thinking of it.


What would you like to do next year on your anniversary?

Jeffrey: Our anniversary will likely always fall over spring break. Next year, I’d like to spend spring break in Hawaii, but I will actually spend most of my spring break studying for the Step I exam. Thus, we’ll probably just have another day trip like this year. Maybe we can do Sea World next year, as I know that she will LOVE that. Or maybe we can drive down to the gulf and spend a few days on the beach. Who knows? Ask me again in a year what we did.

Lauren: Go to Sea World! (Just kidding.) I'd love to go to a beach somewhere, but not Galveston. When I think of Galveston, I always think of the time my youth group went to the beach there in high school and found used drug needles in the sand. No thank you.


Why do you love your spouse today?


Jeffrey: I love Lauren because she has made this great transition in my life so much easier – and better – than had I been on my own. She makes me smile, makes me laugh, and makes me happy. But smiles and giggles don’t make a successful marriage. A successful marriage is built on love and perseverance and honesty, and she excels at all of those things. That’s why I love her this year, because I can tell how much she loves me by how much work she puts in to our marriage.

Lauren: For the record, I love him every day. I love him most today because I truly believe he loves me more today than he did yesterday. He works on our marriage, he works on being the leader of our household, he works on helping around the house--every day he tries to be a better husband.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sorry for your loss...

Today, like many other days, I had a morning full of lectures at school. Today, unlike many other days, turned out to be a very different day in lecture. The following story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent...

My teacher (we'll call him Dr. Dentist) walked in wearing windpants and a dress shirt. He soon explained his unorthodox appearance by lifting his pant leg to expose a large knee brace and a grizzly looking new scar completely bisecting his right knee cap. Dr. Dentist explained that he had torn a ligament in his knee and that because of the location of the tear, laproscopic surgery was not an option. Instead, they had to completely open his knee, leaving him in great pain, with a big scar, and unable to wear dress pants over his gigantic brace.

He then stepped behind the podium and began to lecture. Shortly after, most of us stopped listening because this lecture was in a subject that almost no person in the world would be interested in learning. Soon, however, we all snapped back to attention when we heard Dr. Dentist exclaim, "Oh! My pants fell down!"

True story--my teacher's pants fell all the way to the ground while he was lecturing today. I saw his underpants in class. It was very, very awkward. Then I started thinking about the poor man's future. For example, today he will go home and his wife will say, "How was class today, Dr. Dentist?" and he will respond, "Well, it was pretty good until my pants fell down." Or, when asked what his most embarrassing moment is, he will say, "One time I accidentally flashed 97 dental students during a lecture."

Dr. Dentist, being the incredible person that he is, continued to lecture for 40 more minutes (!) as the rest of us tried, unsuccessfully, to regain our composure. One of my fellow classmates actually had to leave the room because in his attempt to quiet his laughter, he actually started to choke.

Several people were talking about the incident after class and we decided that the man deserved a prize for having the confidence to finish the lecture. I suggested buying him suspenders and a card that reads "Sorry for your loss." We are planning on signing the card and telling him how much we respect the fact that he both laughed about his pants falling down, and continued to lecture to the class-turned-laughing-hyenas.

Monday, March 2, 2009

A Conversation with Greatness

For those of you out there who know me, this post will (hopefully) make you laugh.

For those of you who don't know me, allow me to give you a short introduction to my family. I have a wonderful mom and dad, a sweet baby sister who is almost as tall as me, and a brother who is beyond description.

This is Tommy.



(Actually, that's me and Tommy at Thanksgiving pretending like we're smoking cigars when actually they're those cinnamon-cookie-straw things.)

Anyway, my brother is a pretty funny kid. And for a Down syndrome kid, he has pretty high levels of intelligence, problem solving, and tactile function. He is a master at Guitar Hero - and by master, I mean he can beat most songs on medium. But don't ask him to sing, because you won't get more than a minute into the song. He's a little tone deaf. He has a Facebook page and will write on any wall that he comes across. He can tie his own shoes, bathe and dress himself, and speak in both grammatically-correct English and the English (maybe?) that one might hear on MTV or in rap music. Yes, considering all of his limitations, he is a pretty high-functional dude.

But like all true heroes, he has a flaw - and his is spelling.

Tommy and I text quite often, but yesterday's conversation (via text) was so funny that I decided to post the transcript on our blog.

Everything you are about to read is true. At no point has the text, spelling, or punctuation been altered. Names have remained the same because we don't need to protect the innocent. Also, at one point it may seem as though he was asking about something that only husbands and wives do, but don't worry - read closely and you'll see he wasn't.

So sit back, try to decipher his code, and enjoy!


[Curtain rises]


Tommy: We got the no the texas rangers rudy jaramillo.

Me: What?

Tommy: A new guy on the texas rangers rudy jaramillo

Me: He's not new. Is the game on the radio?

Tommy: Ok. Are you doing with my sister law?

Me: We're studying. What are you doing?

Tommy: My facebook!

Me: Tell dad to help you turn the radio to KRLD and tell me the score

Tommy: What game

Me: The rangers game fool

Tommy: Ok.

Tommy: What the score is.

Me: I don't know. I'm asking you

Tommy: I dont now.

Me: Find it on the radio dork

Tommy: The scoer is the 4 to 1!

Me: Thanks

Tommy: Ok. Are you no facebook!

Me: No I'm studying

Tommy: When you be done!

Me: Later

Tommy: Ok. When you be the si lucker!

Tommy: What you doing man. Are you doing facebook!

Me: No, I'm studying dork

Tommy: What you doing. Are you doing our homework.

[End scene]


My favorite part was when I asked him if the game was on the radio and he replied with, "Ok." Didn't even try to answer my question...what a guy. I sincerely hope that has brightened everyone's Monday morning.

Until next time...

Good night, and good luck

--Jeffrey

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Something for Nothing

Some people say there is no such thing as something for nothing...not so, says I!

For the last few weeks, it seems I have stumbled upon several coupons or promotions for free food and drink.

Found under those beautiful golden arches at McDonald's. The big yellow marquis read, "Free latte Friday." I asked our friendly McD's worker (I jest: in truth he was rather unfriendly, and perhaps under the influence of a narcotic)what "free latte Friday" meant. He responded, "I think it's that you like, come in on Friday and get a free coffee." I asked if there was any purchase necessary--he said, "I don't know."

Helpful.

Undeterred, I returned to that drive-thru on Friday, and a cheerful voice said, "Welcome to McDonald's! Would you like a free latte?" I did want a free latte. I got a free latte. And then I got two more free lattes the following two Fridays. I'm lovin' it! I must admit, I thought for a long while about driving to separate McDonald's locations to get more free coffee each Friday, but I realized that that would be considered by most to be "abusing the privilege" of Free Latte Fridays (and is a little bit insane).

After the McD's coffee love was born, I was doing my usual weekend routine (clipping coupons) when I came upon an entire sheet of coupons for free coffee at McDonald's. Several required the purchase of a sandwich, but some required no purchase at all. And, as luck would have it, the coupon people accidentally gave us two copies of this flyer, so we got double the freebies!

My sweet husband has gotten into the habit of waking before me on Saturdays (which is not as hard as it sounds--I get up at 9:00 on Saturdays) and going to get us breakfast. Last Saturday he got McDonald's because we had the coupons. (We really don't eat at McD's as often as this post makes it sound like--promise.) Anyway, when he came back, I was unpacking the food from the to-go bag and saw that they had given us two coffee sleeves that are coupons for free mochas or lattes!

I'm not sure, but I think McDonald's is just SOOOO into us!

I'm an official blog-stalker now (definition: someone who reads blogs written by people he or she does not know in any way), and on one of the blogs I read I heard about the Quizno's Million Sub Giveaway. Quizno's would create a printable coupon for a free sub sandwich to anyone who visited their website and entered some personal information (undoubtedly they will use this information to spam us to death, but hey--I'll endure a lot of pain for a free meal). Friday for lunch--free Honey Bourbon Chicken Sandwich. Delicious.

Finally, Jeffrey got sent a coupon for a "buy one entree, get one free" at Friday's, so last night we ate there for a little date. Don't worry though, he still paid for me--my meal was more expensive, so his was the free one!

Doesn't stuff just taste better when it's free?!