A little background: I hate spiders. They are the scariest creatures on the earth. I don't really know why I hate them so much. Perhaps I had a traumatic childhood experience with them. Or maybe they just freak me out because they have too many dang legs! And fangs. And eyes.
Anyway, yesterday morning I got into the shower and saw a fuzzy black circle on the shower floor. After wiping the grogginess from my eyes, I realized that the "fuzzy black circle" on the floor was actually a HUGE spider! It looked like this:
There I was, virtually defenseless in the shower, staring into the vicious (eight) eyes of a killer spider. I yelled for Jeffrey to come and rescue me, but he didn't answer. I somehow managed to wash the spider down the drain. I sang a dirge for it as it was washed out of my life ("The itsy bitsy/really huge spider went up Lauren's shower, down came her wrath and washed the spider out, down came the soap and killed the spider for good, and the really huge spider never bothered her again").Later that night, Jeffrey and I were sitting on the couch watching TV together after dinner. All of a sudden, I felt something on my forearm. When I looked down, I saw that a spider had fallen (apparently from the sky) onto my arm. It looked like this:
I felt all eight of its spider-legs crawl on me before I brushed it off my arm in a flurried panic and firmly asked Jeffrey to squash it. (My hero!) You know what the worst part of it is? It's been 18 hours since "the incident," and I can still feel its legs on my forearm.
I warned you about this in the ceremony Jeffrey. Now, you see it is true. I want to applaud you for attacking spiders that large. I don't remember to ones in our home to be quite that big. I salute you!
ReplyDeleteRobert O.