Chatty Cathy

I am somewhat of a chatty Cathy in my sleep (do you think quiet people named Cathy are offended by this saying?), and my sleepy comments never make sense.  Jeffrey likes to ask me in the morning, as he did this morning, "Do you remember what you told me last night?"

I never remember.

Not only do I talk in my sleep but I seem to also lose the ability to regulate my vocal volume, because nine times out of ten Jeffrey claims that I yell out whatever I say.

I can't be sure--I'm always asleep at the time.

So this morning he asked, "Do you remember what you told me last night?"  I, of course, responded negatively.  He said that shortly after he came to bed (I had already fallen asleep watching the endless Whitney Houston montages on E! News) I yelled, "THE SENTENCES!  THE SENTENCES!" and then promptly went back to silent slumber.

No wonder I'm still tired in the morning. 

Overheard in the Pediatric Clinic

Last week I spent some time in the pediatric clinic downtown on rotation.  Working with kids is always fun, because (as Bill Cosby told us) kids say the darndest things.

No exception this week.  Here are a few things I overheard in the clinic...

**5 yr old girl

Student:  How are your teeth doing?

Kid:  Good.

Student:  Do any of them hurt?

Kid:  Umm...yes.  One day one of my teeths hurted and then it didn't hurt anymore.

Student:  Ok.  Then I guess we won't worry about that.

**4 yr old girl

Student:  [walks into the exam room]

Kid:  DON'T TICKLE ME!!!!!

Student:  Ok.

**6 yr old boy

Student:  Hi, I'm going to brush your teeth for you today.

Kid:  With what kind?

Student:  What kind of what?

Kid:  Toothpaste.

Student:  I think it's bubble gum flavor.

Kid:  Can you chew it?

Student:  Sure. 

**8 yr old boy

Student:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kid:  A mechanical engineer.  I make straight A's and my birthday is tomorrow and we're going to Peter Piper Pizza for my party and I'm going to have 10 pieces of pizza and I'm going to have presents and also I don't want my sister to come.

**All kids under the age of 3

Student:  Ok, Mom, if you can hold little buddy in your lap and lay his head in my lap so I can check his teeth...

Kid:  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The most exciting story came from one of the pediatric residents, though.  One day he got a text message  with a picture attached from his friend who is a dentist in another city.  The text said, "This denture was made in 2003 and was not taken out or cleaned until today (Jan 30th, 2012)."

The accompanying picture was incredibly disgusting.  If you're curious, you can google "dirty dentures" to see some examples, but for the weaker stomached readers, I decided not to include the picture.  You're welcome! 

The major topic of conversation after that text was:  How much money would it take for you to lick that denture?  The terrifying truth is that the longer people were in school, the less money they would take to lick the denture.  Some of the 3rd year pedo residents were saying they would do it for $1,000.  Just a little more proof that my impending graduation will allow me to narrowly escape with my sanity (and that pedo residents have lost theirs).