Princess Lauren

Last month, for the second time in seven months, I found myself crying my way East on Interstate 20. Sitting next to my poor, confused, and scared husband I cried from Abilene to Weatherford.

The first time was immediately after my wedding. I had sworn an oath to myself not to cry in my own wedding because I have always hated how I look with mascara running down my face, eyes swollen into tiny slits, and snot dripping from my nose. It is not how I wanted to be immortalized in pictures on that day. I wanted to simply look beautiful that day. And so, with great resolve, I stuck to my oath and made it down the aisle, through the entire ceremony (conducted by one of my best friends and my father, no less), and past the meet and greet at the reception before promptly bursting into tears 4 seconds after getting in the car to drive to our honeymoon.

The tears were tears of joy. I just kept saying, "It was such a pretty wedding! It was so perfect! I loved every second!" My husband of about 30 minutes did his best to console me while (probably) thinking, "So...this night isn't really going the way I had hoped..."

Luckily, we were driving to Dallas that night to stay in a hotel before boarding our cruise ship the next afternoon in Galveston, so my tears were all dried by the time we arrived downtown. (Although, I can't say much for my hair. Aquanet hairspray + 100 bobby pins + updo just taken out in the car - brush = One Scary Post-Bride look.)

The second tear-fest happened just this December. Jeffrey and I visited both sets of parents this year during the Christmas break, but on our way out from Abilene my dad came in the room to give me a little book and a note. The book was written by the Christian singer Stephen Curtis Chapman. It was called "Cinderella" after one of his hit songs, and included in it the lyrics, some background to the song, and the CD of the single. Dad had put a note inside, but I thanked him for the book and told him I would read the note later (since I knew it would make me cry, then he would cry, then mom would cry, etc...)

I read the note as Jeffrey and I were leaving Abilene and turning onto I-20 to go see his parents. [Cue tears]

The wedding ceremony Dad performed had a theme about my being a princess, because I always wanted to be one when I was little, and because all of those who are children of the Lord are Princes and Princesses. The truth is, I hadn't felt much like a princess since I left Abilene to come to school here. At ACU everyone knew that we were all precious children of the King, and we were treated as such. And in my family, all the kids are treated like nobility. In the land of "the real world," however, I have found that things are much different. It's not that it's so bad, it's just that it's not soooo good. It's like the difference between being treated like a commoner and like a princess--commoners have rights and good things in their lives, but given the choice, I'd like to be treated as royalty!

So the little note tucked inside the sweet book had some reminders for me. Reminders to keep acting like a princess whether I felt like one or not. Reminders to be proud of my crown even when others don't recognize it. Reminders to keep dancing to the music of my own ball, even if everything else seems to be falling apart. Reminders that even if I receive a "commoner's" grades or make a "commoner's" mistake, I will still be a princess to my father and my Father.

Today when I brought home what felt like a staggering blow in a line of disappointing grades, I remembered the note and the song, and cried a few tears over the bad grade (ok...a lot of tears), but then I dusted off my tiara and put it firmly back on.

I am a princess after all...I can't abdicate my throne for such trivialities!

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone