Anyway, when we did Sing Song, practices were often long and arduous due to the constant repetition of certain phrases by the director. Along with "A little bit louder now," "A little bit softer now," and "Girls, pay attention" was the phrase, "Remember your diction."
The latter phrase alone drove all the English majors in the room crazy. "Diction!?" They would exclaim. "Diction means word choice--how could we possibly remember our diction when we are all supposed to sing the lyrics already written for us?"
What the directors actually mean is "Remember to enunciate--to pronounce the lyrics clearly and distinctly." Unfortunately somewhere along the way, this phrase was shortened to "Remember your diction."
And that's why I wrote this really long and unnecessary introduction to these two stories--to make the English majors happy! Without further ado, here are two stories of diction (the real kind) from this week.
As we walked into Bass Pro Shop last night, a woman in front of us exclaimed, "Wow, they have an upscalator and a downscalator!" And she was serious. She thinks that's what they're called.
Yesterday I signed up for an online survey series that pays a few dollars per survey. In order to choose the proper surveys, I had to fill out a little personal information. As with many surveys, when it got to the part where it asks about race, the choices were A: White/Caucasian, B: Black, C: Asian, D: Hispanic, E: Other, and F: Prefer not to answer. Pretty standard situation. A few other questions had the "Prefer not to answer" option, as well. However, when I got to the marital status question, the answer choices were A: Married, B: Single, or C: Refused.
Refused? Does that mean "I refuse to answer" or "I've been refused by everyone I've ever tried to date"?
I prefer to think that they meant the latter. Remember your diction, my friends.
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