Salmonella survivors

As you may have heard, the largest shelled egg recall in US history is going on right now. A salmonella contamination has affected millions of eggs sold in thousands of stores across the country. According to the recall lists, the eggs that we used to make waffles for my visiting family last week are not contaminated, but apparently something we all ate had bad eggs. Seriously bad eggs.
Confirmed reports of salmonella have been received from the bathrooms of my mom, my dad, my brother, my husband, and me. In case you aren't familiar, let me give you a little definition of salmonella poisoning and the symptoms you might see. (Wikipedia forgot a few descriptive words in their description, so I've included some additional words in italics.)

First off, there are two major strains of salmonella that affect innocent and unsuspecting humans like the Oglesby/Edwards families: Salmonella Enteriditis and Salmonella Typhi. You’ll recognize “typhi” from typhoid, a very serious illness that has largely been eliminated in the United States--score 1 for vaccinations. Some types of salmonella carry typhoid, but the current egg recall has nothing to do with this kind of salmonella. The risk posed by the recalled eggs relates to Salmonella Enteriditis, which is the source of a great many cases of food poisoning.

Enteritis simply means “inflammation of the intestine.” If enough evil bacteria survives your stomach’s gastric juices, the salmonella grows in the lumen (lining) of the intestines and can cause frighteningly intense diarrhea without any warning as well as fever and debilitating cramping in your stomach. Such symptoms will often hit at the most inopportune times, like right when you sit down to interview a new patient in the dental clinic, and you will have to sit there talking about floss while wondering if perhaps you may have to find a change of pants if you don't get a bathroom break soon. Infants and people with compromised immune systems can suffer far more serious symptoms (right now, I can't think of anything more serious than explosive diarrhea). For anyone afflicted with salmonella poisoning, dehydration is a huge secondary factor (secondary to always remaining within an 8 foot radius of a toilet at all times). Symptoms typically occur as soon as several hours after ingesting contaminated food or as long as a day after.

I'd love to tell you more, but I have to go to the bathroom. Again.