For those of you who aren't dorks, let me explain that TB tests are done by using a syringe to place some tuberculin bacteria just below the skin and then evaluating the area within 48 hours. A huge swelling indicates that you have been exposed to TB.
Unfortunately, last year the goober who gave me my skin test shoved the needle so deeply into my arm that it bled and bruised for several days after. (I know that none of you feel sorry for me, a dental student who gives people shots every day, but you should!)
Understandably, this year I was not excited about going in to get my annual subcutaneous/deep vein TB test. I was also less than enthused about the prospect of trying to even find a time to go in. Last year I got one half day off each week to take care of obnoxious errands such as this, but this year I have my Implant Selective on my half day off, so it becomes quite a chore to find time during business hours to go in.
Luckily, today the selective got finished early, so I ran over to the health clinic to get my test done.
It did not go well.
I walked into the clinic and was pleased to find that there were no other students waiting to be seen, so I assumed I could quickly get the test. I approached the glass window and watched as the receptionist attempted a smile (one that more closely resembled a grimace), then partially slid open the window.
Receptionist: Can I help you?
Me: Hi, I'm here to get my TB test.
Receptionist: Do you have an appointment? Because there's another patient here now.
Me: (Wondering how the clinic could be completely overrun by a single patient and a student here to get a TB test that quite literally takes 1 minute to perform) No, I don't. I don't have any time off during the day, but today I finished early so I hurried over to see if you had time to see me.
Receptionist: Let me check with the nurse. (She slides the glass window closed again, as if I might pull a John Q and take the clinic hostage and demand my skin test if not properly barred from entry)
Lo and behold, they decided that the 15-person staff could handle seeing 2 patients at once, so the receptionist returned.
She asked me my full name, my cell phone number, my street address, my social security number, my UTHSCSA badge number, and my shoe size. (Kidding on that last one.) She diligently typed each answer into my computer file. Then she handed me a stack of forms to fill out. Guess what I needed to fill out on the forms? You guessed it...my full name, my cell phone number, my street address, my social security number, my UTHSCSA badge number, and my favorite color. (Kidding again on the last one.)
Why, oh why could she not just fill out the computer form off the paper forms? Or why could they not just ask if there were any changes since I filled out these exact same forms last year? Questions without answers.
When I handed back my stack of redundant papers, the receptionist motioned to a nurse who had been (busily?) sitting in a chair and the nurse came to get me.
Nurse: So today is your only time off?
Me: Well, I technically don't have time off during business hours. I just happened to get done early today.
Nurse: Well, we're open now until 7 pm on Mondays, so you could have made an appointment.
Me: (Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the stethescope today) Oh, I didn't realize you stayed open so late.
Nurse: It's new. (But she said this in a tone of voice that sounded like she felt I should've known better)
Me: Umm...well, thanks for seeing me anyway.
I must say, Nurse Ratched did a very nice job with my TB test. She angled the needle barely beneath the skin and I didn't even bleed.
I quickly left so as not to monopolize any more time away from the other patient (who was apparently hiding somewhere since I saw no one else in the office with no doors on the examining rooms).
The receptionist must have been busy staring at the wall when I left because she forgot to say goodbye.
One flew east
One flew west
One had to fight for her TB test
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