Oopsie Poopsie

I was going to impress everyone by writing a blog post about something besides Carter.  In fact, I've even taken the pictures already.  I was going to post about the new art project that I finished recently and hung in our newly redecorated master bedroom. 

Then my dog ate a diaper.  And suddenly I MUST talk about Carter again because, after all, it was his diaper. 

Carter and I went out to run some errands today and when we got back home, imagine our horror when we found the remnants of two diapers spread all over the living room rug and one side of the master bedroom.  (And when I say "remnants" I mean tiny, minced shreds of what was formerly known as a newborn sized diaper.)

Was it a clean diaper?  No--Dixie had drug two diapers out of the trash while we were gone.  Was it a wet diaper?  No--it was a lime green variant of poopy diaper.  Too bad our living room rug isn't lime green.  Then I could have just left it.

After giving Dixie a stern talking to in a harsh whisper (the baby was asleep) and cleaning up the diaper explosion (thank goodness we keep nitrile gloves at our house--for such a time as this), I sat down to consult the experts on whether I should be afraid my dog will die from eating a dirty diaper.  Of course, by "experts" I mean Google.

I joke, but I do use Google a lot to research things ("is it normal for a newborn's poop to be lime green?!"), but usually I try to be careful about choosing which links to believe.  Links that lead to random message boards = not so much.  Links that take you to a government sponsored page = believable.  Unfortunately, I found nothing but message boards on my "dog ate a diaper, now what?" search.

Here's where the story will get really sad if it goes wrong tonight:  the message board experts are split in their opinions right down the middle.  Half say to immediately take your dog to the vet because the diaper stuffing is expanding like Violet's gum in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and will kill her if it isn't surgically removed.  Half say to leave your dog alone because dogs eat stupid stuff all the time and usually just poop it out.

I decided to wait it out.  Mostly because taking a newborn and a diaper-breath dog to the vet sounded like the worst horror movie of this Halloween season.  I decided I'd just keep an eye on her and watch out for any signs of sickness, like lethargy, vomiting, or not eating.

Well, she's not vomiting, and it's not time to eat yet, so we're good there, but how in the world am I supposed to tell if this lazy dog is lethargic?

P. S.  If anything in this post doesn't make sense, it's because I'm typing it at a feverish pace before Carter's nap ends, and I keep having to go check on him every 15 minutes (because I'm crazy).  Do you see what I see?  This is me peeking in hundreds of times per day...

 

That's my sweet baby boy.  I love him too much!