Sleep Talker

As I've mentioned before, sometimes I talk in my sleep. Jeffrey is usually not very amused with this little trait of mine because it usually ends up costing him some sleep. Luckily, last night the thing I said was so weird and random, he ended up laughing instead of being mad at me.

Apparently, in the middle of the night, I woke up, quickly sat up on my hands and knees and said, "I'm so worried there's something in the bed."

Jeffrey said, "I think it's just us in the bed--do you want to lay back down and go to sleep?"

I did. Not one more word was uttered.

Why is my subconscious so weird?

One bright day

This morning I felt like I was in one of those crazy poems from "Where the Sidewalk Ends."

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too.

I woke up to the sound of the garage door opening at 6 am. As I got up to brush my teeth, Jeffrey was walking in the house from another long night on call at the hospital. He kissed me good morning; I kissed him goodnight. He went to bed, and I went to school. One bright day in the middle of the night...

Salmonella survivors

As you may have heard, the largest shelled egg recall in US history is going on right now. A salmonella contamination has affected millions of eggs sold in thousands of stores across the country. According to the recall lists, the eggs that we used to make waffles for my visiting family last week are not contaminated, but apparently something we all ate had bad eggs. Seriously bad eggs.
Confirmed reports of salmonella have been received from the bathrooms of my mom, my dad, my brother, my husband, and me. In case you aren't familiar, let me give you a little definition of salmonella poisoning and the symptoms you might see. (Wikipedia forgot a few descriptive words in their description, so I've included some additional words in italics.)

First off, there are two major strains of salmonella that affect innocent and unsuspecting humans like the Oglesby/Edwards families: Salmonella Enteriditis and Salmonella Typhi. You’ll recognize “typhi” from typhoid, a very serious illness that has largely been eliminated in the United States--score 1 for vaccinations. Some types of salmonella carry typhoid, but the current egg recall has nothing to do with this kind of salmonella. The risk posed by the recalled eggs relates to Salmonella Enteriditis, which is the source of a great many cases of food poisoning.

Enteritis simply means “inflammation of the intestine.” If enough evil bacteria survives your stomach’s gastric juices, the salmonella grows in the lumen (lining) of the intestines and can cause frighteningly intense diarrhea without any warning as well as fever and debilitating cramping in your stomach. Such symptoms will often hit at the most inopportune times, like right when you sit down to interview a new patient in the dental clinic, and you will have to sit there talking about floss while wondering if perhaps you may have to find a change of pants if you don't get a bathroom break soon. Infants and people with compromised immune systems can suffer far more serious symptoms (right now, I can't think of anything more serious than explosive diarrhea). For anyone afflicted with salmonella poisoning, dehydration is a huge secondary factor (secondary to always remaining within an 8 foot radius of a toilet at all times). Symptoms typically occur as soon as several hours after ingesting contaminated food or as long as a day after.

I'd love to tell you more, but I have to go to the bathroom. Again.

Overheard in the Clinic

Jeffrey's and my favorite quotes from patients today:

"Could I please talk to the head of all the stupid surgeons in this hospital?"

"I need to speak to a supervisor--the cap you put on my tooth is making me blind."

Go Forth and Multiply

Today I had some lab work to do after my clinic appointment. Luckily we get most Thursday afternoons off to do such lab work and other errands. I was really excited about the idea of getting my work done and getting home before 5:30.

I had to mix up some casts for one of my patients. Our dental stone comes in separate powder packets, and each one is clearly marked with how much water should be added to mix the proper consistency. The stone I was using called for 13 milliliters of water per bag of stone. I wanted to mix 3 bags of stone at once. So here's your math problem, straight out of the 3rd grade practice book:

Q: Lauren is mixing dental stone in the lab. She wants to mix 3 bags of stone, and each requires 13 ml of water. How many ml of water should she add to the 3 bags of stone?

A: 39 ml

So would someone please tell me why I used 69 ml of water?!?! 69 is not even close to 39. I took AP precalculus and calculus in high school, then took precal at the college level, and yet somehow simple mental math still sometimes escapes me.

Anyway, I tried to add more powder and salvage the situation, but basically I just ended up with soup instead of the nice, thick consistent mixture we aim for in our stone. The cost of adding too much water is that the stone takes much longer to set. Usually stone takes about 30 minutes to set. Because I'm math-tarded, mine will probably be dry sometime next Friday.

This only goes to show that my friend Trang is right about the lab rule. The rule is this:

Amount of time required to do a lab project = 2 x (Amount of time you think it will take) + 40 mins

I thought that making my cast would take 30 mins, but applying Trang's rule I see that really it would take (oh no, more math!) 100 minutes.

(But somebody better double check that math for me.)