The Animal Whisperer

Let me start by saying that, generally, I'm not the biggest fan of pets. I think (some) pets are fun to play around with for a little while, but the responsibilities of owning a pet - feeding, cleaning, picking up the droppings, etc. - far outweigh any benefits that may come from owning a pet. (It should be noted that the preceding statement is solely my own opinion and not that of my wife.) And it's not that I hate animals; I would just rather use my free time for something enjoyable that requires little effort.

That being said, I find it quite ironic that animals absolutely love me. Whenever we go home to Lauren's house, her 2 cats are in my lap within 5 minutes of me stepping through the door. At Steven and Mary's house (2 of our new friends here in San Antonio), their little puppy dog can't seem to get enough of me. Then today, as I was walking back to our apartment from my afternoon jog, a dog sprinted full speed from 100 yards away and fell flat at my feet, ready to be petted.

What is the deal?!

Am I an "animal whisperer?" Do I look really good in black-and-white to those colorblind creatures? Am I pheromone-ically active with lower-order animals? Do I give off a silent whistle every time I breathe? Or does God simply have a very witty sense of humor?

I don't know the answer, but there's one thing I do know, and it's that having pet fish is fantastic - they don't make any noise, they can't chase you down and slobber on you or scratch you, and they are relatively cheap. So for all of you out there seeking to appease spouse or child with a pet, but would really enjoy a low-maintenance pet, then take it from me - get a fish.

Or if you're like us, get five. And give them funny names so that you can get a quiet chuckle every time you see them.

However, I'm sure that in one year's time we'll have a couple of dogs, 3 cats, a rabbit, 4 hamsters, and some birds - and not because we'll buy them, but because they will instinctively flock to me like an adult salmon returning to her breeding grounds upstream to give birth.

Honestly, I think that God just has a fantastic sense of humor, and if that's the case, then I'm keeping my thoughts and feelings on having children - more specifically, having boys or girls - to myself!

Until next time...

Good night, and good luck

--Jeffrey

P.S. Chase is coming down to visit us next weekend, so stay tuned to see what kind of trouble we can get into in the short time he is here.

P.P.S. The new James Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace," will be released this Friday in the U.S. You better believe that I'll be in the theater Friday night, popcorn and Twizzlers in hand, ready to save the world yet again!