Name Calling

I like to imagine that when my mom was pregnant with me she and my dad spent hours discussing possible names for me. (It makes me feel important, ok? And also makes me feel less creepy for spending hours picking names for my future--albeit unborn and even un-conceived--children.)

I don't know if my mom and dad spent hours picking out my name, but I do know that they thought carefully about it. Good news, Mom and Dad: Lauren doesn't rhyme with anything, and is virtually unable to be transformed into any sort of cut down or gross nickname; therefore, no one made fun of my name.

Bad news, Mom and Dad: No one knows how to say it.

My name is spelled L-A-U-R-E-N. Because it has an "A," I like it to be pronounced "Lah-ren." Instead, this is what happens...

Me, meeting a new person: Hi, I'm Lauren Edwards. (I purposefully emphasize the "ah" sound.)
New person: Hi, Lora. Is it Lora? Or Loren?
Me: LAH-REN. (Even bigger emphasis on the "ah.")
New person: Oh, Loren. Nice to meet you.
Me: Ok. Whatever.

Sometimes this makes me frustrated. Other times it just makes me laugh. I get especially tickled when people try to spell my name. A few days ago I went by Starbucks to buy some coffee and, per usual, the former conversation took place between the barista (if it's a guy, is he a baristo?) and me. When I got my drink, it had "Loran" proudly scrawled on the side. That is not my name, but I drank it anyway, because I knew what he meant.

My all time favorite, however, has to be one of my high school boyfriends who once wrote me a note that began with "Dear Larn." I'm thinking of officially changing it. Think how much money I'd save by reducing the ink needed to write my name by two letters.

As an added bonus, I could introduce myself like this:

Me: Hi, I'm Larn Edwards.
New person: Hi, Lora. Is it Lora? Or Loren?
Me: It's Larn. Rhymes with yarn.
New person: Oh. Hi, Larn.
Me: Sweet victory.