Monday, March 25, 2013

Love/Hate Relationship

Sometimes I really hate Jeffrey’s job.  Strangely enough, though, I couldn’t quite figure out why I hate it so much…I mean, why, exactly.  Of course I hate the hours.  Who wouldn’t?  I hate the sound of the pager that buzzes, even when he’s not on the clock.  I hate that I don’t even see him in the morning to tell him hello because he has to wake up so early. 

But a couple of weeks ago (while sitting at home on my birthday at 9:00 pm, alone, except for one adorable yet sobbing baby) I figured out exactly why I hate his job so much.  It’s because we (women, I mean) always want to be the most important thing in our husband’s lives.  But sometimes we’re not. 
No, some wives can’t always be the most important thing to their husbands.  Whereas some wives can yell, “Don’t I mean more to you than some stupid work at the office?”  I can’t.  Because the simple truth is that Jeffrey’s job is more important than me.  In fact, it’s more important than anything else that he does.  Even though he knew I was waiting on him at home, his patient's blood pressure crashed and he needed to stay and take care of him.  It’s literally life and death.
And while that makes me immeasurably proud of him, at times it makes me maddeningly frustrated.  The frustration is selfish, and mean, and ugly…and also quite real.  Which is why I’m glad for reminders like these of the weight that Jeffrey carries, just like many other doctors.
Text conversation Jeffrey and I had last week:

J:  Just held my patient’s hand for 20 minutes until he passed.

L:  Good thing he had you.  You ok?

J:  Ya, I guess.  I feel sad now.  But he saw Jesus.  Started singing gospel songs.  That makes me happy.

L:  I’m sorry you have to be that close to death, but I don’t know anyone better suited to care for those patients than you.

I’m going to try to remember this the next time I feel that familiar anger growing, that disgust for his long hours, distracted attention, and lack of quantity of time with us.  Because as deep as my frustration is in those times, my love for this man who cares for the physical and spiritual needs of patients who are facing a terrifying transition should always be greater.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Baby Blues

Impromptu photo shoot in the crib yesterday...oh, how I love those baby blues!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

It's a Baby-Eat-Dog World

I'm starting to understand the distinct possibility that one word was left out of a popular children's book.  "See Spot Run" was probably originally titled "See Spot Run Away," but the publishers thought it was too harsh for a young audience.  At our house, though, we see Dixie run a lot.  She's running away from Carter.  I cannot figure out why...

Run, Spot!  RUN!!!!
**No dogs were harmed (permanently) in the making of this post.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Half and Whole

Baby, you've been with us for half a year, but you've stolen my whole heart!

At six months old you are so much fun!  Starting to giggle and think that our silly sounds are funny.  You roll over and are starting to actually move places....uh oh, I guess it's time to child-proof the house (if there truly is such a thing, that is).  You love your mommy, maybe a little too much because you're in a bit of a phase where you only want me to hold you at night.  I'll tell you a secret, though--I don't mind at all.

You're just learning so much and we are so proud of you.  You reach out for things, hold them, and of course promptly put them in your mouth.  You recognize yourself in the mirror (and you sure do love that handsome baby who stares back at you).  You like looking at things upside-down.  You think our dog, Dixie, is hilarious, even when she's not doing anything at all.  You're eating solid food like a champ now, and we can always tell when you're hungry because you put your arms straight out as if to say, "Why?!? Why won't you feed me?"  Then when you're done you fold up your little wings and go back to your normal self.

**This is the first time you realized there were balloons in your monthly picture.  We have lots of outtakes from this photo session where you're grabbing the balloon strings.

Baby boy, you light up my life.  Happy eleventh.  Mommy and Daddy love you. 

Monday, March 4, 2013

Lions and Tigers and 'Dillos, Oh My!

Well, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it lately, but my son is very smart.  He can move toys from one hand to the other (see entire blog post dedicated to this amazing feat), roll over, and turn in the direction of a sound.  Total baby genius.

One of the reasons he is so smart is because I read to him a lot already.  We've read books about saying goodnight to the moon, brown bears, and found out which monsters are not his monster.  We recently read a new book called First 100 Animals.

Book review:

First 100 Animals is a great book.  It has lots of animals in it (probably around 100) and they are listed in groups based on what kind of habitat the animal lives in.  For example, on the "Farm Animals" page there are pictures of a horse, a cow, and a duckling.  But there is a big problem with this book.  See if you can tell which animal does not belong on the "Jungle" page...

Yep, the armadillo must have crawled all the way from Texas to the Jungle to hang out with his cousin, the gorilla.  That's an epic fail, Priddy Books publishing.  How am I supposed to teach my brilliant child to continue to be brilliant when you lead him astray like this? 

I might as well just teach him to put the square pegs in the round holes...

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