A-Poo-logies

Sometimes as a parent you have the distinct honor of cleaning up vomit, boogers, and various other unpleasant bodily excretions.  When these explosions happen, the best case scenario is that you are at home within arm's reach of a box of wet wipes.  The medium case scenario is that you are at a restaurant where you can quickly exit and pretend that it was someone else's kid who exploded all over the floor and high chair.  The worst case scenario?  Well, that would be this...

Last week Carter had a mean bout of diarrheal illness, most likely caused by a virus/bacteria/parasite he picked up while playing in the toilet water earlier in the week.  (I looked away for 2 SECONDS!!)  We went through a lot of diapers and a lot of wipes and probably forever ruined our relationship with our childcare providers.  By Wednesday he was seeming better and I needed to go to a meeting at church after work, so I picked him up and took him with me.  As we started the meeting Carter very obviously and very loudly started to have a *ahem* bowel movement.  That was pretty distracting to our meeting, but what came next pretty much decimated all hope.  He had come over to me and asked me to hold him, so I picked him up but kept saying, "I'm scared....what if you're leaking on me?"  I picked him up to check for leakage and noticed something on the carpet beneath me.

It didn't hit me at first what had happened because I couldn't figure out where the liquid was coming from, but after a few seconds of deduction I realized that the foamy, beige colored liquid on my pants, the chair, and the carpet was actually Carter's diarrhea that had leaked out of his diaper and down his pant leg.  Oh...my...goodness.

Even after using several industrial solvents, a countless number of wipes, putting on a new diaper, and taking everything (including the trash from the clean up) outside of the building, it still smelled like disgusting baby poo throughout the entire office. 

There's really no way to gracefully handle that situation, or to save face as you leave, so I pretty much just ran...and then brought this up to the office this morning as an apology.